The conversion of St. Paul, as today’s reading from Acts is referred to, marks a pivotal point in the Church’s history. Several things leap out at once. First, that Paul (or Saul) is described as murderous here. We often forget how Paul was before his conversion. He appears to be something of a religious fanatic and very ruthless and consumed by rage against all early Jewish Christians. He is a man of violence. Secondly, the men he is traveling to Damascus with are mentioned but never named. Acts specifically states that they too heard the voice that Paul heard. What happened to them? Did they also convert? We do not know since nothing further is said about them except that they lead the now blind Paul by the hand into the city. Finally, Acts says that Paul is knocked down, but it never says that he was knocked off his horse. Pretty much the only ones in ancient Palestine on horses were Roman soldiers, so Paul and his companions were most likely on foot.
Saul is three days blind in Damascus during which time he eats or drinks nothing. What must have been his thoughts other than the vision he had and of what Jesus had said to him; of his being knocked to the ground and his blindness? The disciple Ananias in Damascus also receives a vision from Jesus sending him to Saul and, amazingly, he argues with the Lord about Jesus’ command to him, protesting that Saul has done evil and is empowered to do even more. But Jesus tells him, “You must go!” For Paul is his chosen vessel to carry the Good News to the Gentiles. The rest follows quickly- Saul regains his sight, is baptized immediately, stays with the disciples and “at once” begins preaching in the synagogues that Jesus is the Son of God.
There is simply no other conversion story like Paul’s, either in scripture or tradition (at least tradition that is not merely a pious legend). The intervention of the risen Christ himself as well as the immediacy of it all, the night and day difference it makes in Paul at once, is most striking. It took the other Apostles years to come to that state. Because of this vision, Paul will always claim that he is as much of an apostle as the twelve, even that he has done more!
Conversion experiences are quite common among the lives of many of our Protestant brothers and sisters. In certain denominations, they are almost de rigueur. They seem to be far less prevalent among Catholics, however, at least among those of us who were not converts. I suppose that is due to the cradle to grave aspect of Catholicism. Many Catholics, frankly, never get to a point of truly searching their faith, seeking a far deeper and more invested level that challenges their every previously accepted pious practice. For many Catholics, faith remains a purely “religious” affair. They go to church on Sunday. They receive the sacraments and they engage in some prayer. A far deeper, far more wholly encompassing faith that affects every aspect of their lives completely, is one deemed appropriate only for “the saints.” We must admit that a faith like that actually frightens us. We call such people “holy rollers” or even fanatics. Yet every one of those saints we pray to urged all of us to so fully embrace Christ that nothing would ever be the same for us. For they all found the deeply spiritual one thing necessary. And for the vast majority of those saints, if we had actually met them, we’d be very much tempted to label them as something of the fanatic!
Yet the scriptures are full of this call to complete abandonment to God. Paul, whose whole life totally and forever changed that day on the road to Damascus, would tell his beloved Ephesians in 2:24, “You were taught to put away your former way of life, your old self, corrupt and deluded by its lusts, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to clothe yourselves with the new self, created according to the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.” And he famously told the Corinthians in 2Cor 5:16-17, “From now on, therefore, we regard no one from a human point of view; even though we once knew Christ from a human point of view, we know him no longer in that way. So if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation: everything old has passed away; see, everything has become new!”
There is really only one thing that keeps us from this conversion where we would surrender to God’s love and receive in return true freedom and strength, true joy and the power to love. That one thing is fear. Pray that we will not allow fear to keep us from life in its fulness. Jesus told us that there is nothing to fear. Do you believe him? Jesus stands at the door knocking. Don’t wait any longer. Have courage and open that door and let salvation in. You will never regret it.