Jesus gives the Apostles today in chapter 16 of John what is, I believe, his last parable, although most don’t think of it as such. It is the parable of the woman in labor who forgets the great pain of giving birth when the joy over her newborn child arrives. The Lord promises the Apostles that although they are in anguish now, they will soon be rejoicing (in the resurrection) and that, “No one will take your joy away from you.” He concludes by telling them the great spiritual truth that, “Whatever you ask the Father in my name he will give you.”
We’ll talk of the last promise first. Many of us often find ourselves either wondering or disappointed because we did not seem to receive something we had asked for in prayer. There can be various reasons for this lack of an answer but first is to recall the letter of James where in verse 4:3 he tells us, “You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly.” That is because Jesus told us that we must not simply ask, but ask “in my name.” And that makes all the difference. However, we must understand that asking the Father for something in Jesus’ name does not mean that we merely add the Lord’s name onto the end of our prayer. To ask in Jesus’ name is to ask for something both motivated by the Spirit of Jesus and rooted in the same love Jesus had for us as well as in his complete trust in God. And that means our prayers of petition, if we want them answered, cannot be selfish or motivated out of fear or asking for something that is not really for the good of the Kingdom of God (only for something we think is for our own good). It is also to understand that God has already answered our prayer, we just have not heard it for some reason, a reason that always lies in ourselves, not God.
That narrows things down considerably. So many of our prayers spring from fears or worry (which is also from fear). We worry about our children, about the health of friends and family (or ourselves), about financial matters, about the world. There’s nothing wrong about praying about such things but try to pray that we will trust in the grace of God that God will always give us to handle and bear such things rather than that God should miraculously protect us from anything we consider bad from happening to us. Try to pray as Jesus did in Gethsemane, “Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass me by but not my will but your will be done.” One way is to trust in God, the other is just magical thinking. We do not and cannot know why what we think of as bad things happen, but they do and to people everywhere all the time. Does that mean that God does not love those people or that we should be somehow protected when they are not? Do we end up using God as a talisman or good luck charm?
It all depends on finding that joy that no one can take away from us. Such joy comes from great faith and trust in God, not in what happens and certainly not in our understanding. It comes from constantly seeking to abandon our will, what we want or think we need or think is good for us, for God’s will who alone knows what we need. That takes continual prayer where we pour out our hearts to the Lord and continual surrender. Then we gradually learn to simply accept everything, not because we understand it or know anything about why it happens and not because it does or does not feel good, does or does not seem good. We seek to accept it because ultimately that is all we can do. Otherwise, we remain simply miserable, living in fear and bitterness and hiding.
Ask anyone who has ever survived a great tragedy and they will tell you that they found that joy by going through their fears (the dark valley of the shadow of death) and finding acceptance. So many things we fear can actually lead us to that surrender of acceptance: failure, loss, sickness, disaster. In acceptance (for acceptance is but another way of saying God’s will be done), we discover that nothing can really harm us if we trust fully and only in God. It is a joy that does not vary no matter what happens. It is to discover the one thing necessary. Think of the Rich Young Man who asked Jesus what more he could do for God. When Jesus finally told him (after looking at him with love- Mk 10:21) to go and sell everything he had and give it all to the poor and then follow him, the man went away sad because he could not accept that. But Jesus knew that that would set him free, that it was what he really needed. Jesus knows what we truly need also, what would set us free, if we would only hear him. Pray that we will not let our fears keep us from simply accepting it and being filled with joy.