Daily Reflection Tuesday of the Eighth Week in Ordinary Time

 As I prayed over this biblical passage, I was drawn back to my grammar school days. We students were always placed in a line. Deciding who was first was always a challenge. I went to Catholic school, and the Sisters always had to deal with picking who was first. For a while, the selection was size order. I was five foot two, so I was comfortably placed in the middle. Then the teachers decided that was not fair and began putting the tallest up front. Inevitably that placement was changed because the shorter students could not be seen behind the taller ones. So, off to alphabetical order we went. My last name started with a K, so I was safely in the middle again. For me that was always a comfortable place. I never had to go first and worry about making a mistake, and I did not have to hang around forever waiting because I was last.  I never wanted to be the choice of being first.  I did not have that option in my family life. I was the oldest of three girls. In my mind I was the “it’s not fair” sister. All the things I was not allowed to do were now the things I was watching my younger sisters do. I remember being eighteen and wanting to go to go see Elton John at Madison Square Garden. I received a hard “no”, and I was furious! What added insult to my injury came two years later when I had to take my fifteen-year-old sister and her friends to see Rod Stewart. I was so angry at my parents for making me take them. You can be assured that I reminded by parents of the errors they made with me! As I got older, I began to realize that my younger sisters felt the same way about me when I got to do something they could not.
 
    We all end up wanting to know what’s in it for us and fearing we will be left out. Today’s passage from Mark’s gospel is very comforting, because it reminds us that we will never be left out. In God’s eyes we are all equal. The poor and the rich are equal when they are doing the Father’s work. It’s okay to be rich if your riches benefit others. Our riches are not always monetary. It is the dignity and love we bestow on others that God sees and rewards. God’s greatest gift to us is his son, Jesus. Jesus’ great gift to us is his love, as he loved us to his death. Most of us will never be asked to die for our beliefs, but we can die to self in loving and sacrificing for others.

    These days I happily go to concerts with my sister; inevitably she talks about how wonderful her first concert was. All I can think about is how miserable I made my parents feel and how they never told her about my complaining. Looking back, I see that they made her feel loved and special that day. I got all the credit for making her feel that way. I know that’s what God desires for us. He wants us to be giving people.  In return we feel his love and recognize that we are all special in His eyes. For me, that’s “my being in the middle feeling.” I am good with that place in line.