Daily Reflection Friday in the Octave of Easter

Having been writing these for some time, the Friday readings are now repeating. Again, I’m offering a previous reflection on today’s gospel passage.

On this first Friday after Good Friday last week, we are presented with the first half of the great twenty-first chapter of John. It is great because there is nothing else like it in all the Gospel accounts and because it is deeply mysterious as to both its origin and its purpose.

Only the gospel of John contains two whole chapters that speak of post resurrection events. All the rest have but one. Although all of the most ancient manuscripts we have of John’s gospel contain Chapter 21, most scholars agree that it is probably a later addition to the original gospel of John written by an early redactor (or editor) of whom we know nothing. If so, it must have been added very early on. The Church is forever deeply thankful for it, whatever its source.

The entire chapter occurs along the shore of what John calls the Sea of Tiberias. This is the same as Lake Galilee or Gennesaret, as Luke calls it in his chapter 5 where, according to Luke, Peter, James and John first met Jesus in their boat. And here at the end of John, these same apostles are together again in their boat and the parallels to Luke 5 are deliberate and striking. In John’s encounter here, there are also present the Apostles Thomas and Nathanael, one who refused to believe without incontrovertible evidence, and the other who asked, “Can anything good come from Nazareth?” Then there are two more unnamed disciples, one of whom we discover is the mysterious “disciple whom Jesus loved,” who is ostensibly the eye witness at the heart of John’s gospel account.

Here, these men who had supposedly left everything to follow Jesus, return, at the lead of Peter, to what they know and what they were before meeting the Lord, fishermen. Everything, it seems, has ended. The great hope and adventure has been crushed and they are like men lost. Although John states that this is the third time that Jesus has appeared to his disciples after the resurrection, it very much feels like the first time for these disciples here, especially for Peter. Why that is, remains a mystery.

It is just dawn and as in Luke 5, the apostles have caught nothing all night. In addition to being bereft and in grief, they must also bear that failure as well. And just as in Luke 5, there is another miraculous catch of fish which completely alters everything. In Luke, Peter, who only moments before the miracle, had gently yet firmly, confidently chided Jesus that there were simply no fish to be caught, falls trembling at the feet of Jesus, begging him to leave him for he is a sinner, for he now terrifyingly knows that he is in the presence of the Holy. He is convinced that Jesus has made a terrible mistake in choosing him. How can that be possible, he feels and he is very much afraid. But the Lord made no mistake, even if Peter still has not begun to fish for souls now here, years later, back on that same shore. But Peter and the other Apostles will never be the same after this, though it will not be a painless transformation. Here in John, we can feel the mounting ferment as they struggle in vain to pull in the now full nets. We can see their heads all snap up at once to look fast upon the shore to their mysterious visitor and after a moment of overwhelming amazement, hear the disciple whom Jesus loved whisper in awe, “It is the Lord!” 

And that’s it. Nothing will ever be the same again. We can almost hear Peter cry out and Peter, being Peter, grabs something to put over his nakedness and leaps impetuously into the water, swimming to Jesus as fast as he can. He finds him tending a charcoal fire with fish grilling on it. The others soon follow in the boat. No one says a word, except Jesus who simply says for them to bring over some of the fish they have just caught. Peter hauls the net in himself from the boat, a very significant detail, full of 153 large fish. No one knows the significance of that number, not to mention who counted them or why. “Come and have breakfast,” Jesus simply tells them, breakfast he has made for them, breakfast he offers to them from his own hands. They say not a word the entire meal, it seems. Who would dare? They know it is the Lord but it also seems that there’s some reason they do not quite recognize him. They eat in silence, waiting for Jesus to say something. What went through them all as they sat eating in silence before the one they had all abandoned, doubted, denied and watched die miserably and alone on that cross? 

And yet, there he was, again, alive, resurrected and come back to them who were covered in guilt and shame but coming not with condemnation or rejection but rather with absolution and an invitation to finally accept something they had all largely refused until this moment. The Apostles knew then something they had failed to know before. That Jesus was unlike anything they had ever known or would know and that what he was inviting them to, was beyond anything they could contemplate. That to finally answer his call, was to leave behind all they thought they knew or understood. It had taken them years to reach this point. It was all a gift from God, they had done nothing to deserve it. Rather, what they did deserve would never be mentioned. It was like the father of the prodigal, who acted as if his truly wayward son had done nothing wrong. Rather, the father showered his renegade with honors after embracing him with unconditional love. It does not seem possible or even anchored in reality. How would we meet the Lord on that beach if it had been us? Do not be afraid, he told Peter their first time on that beach. As he lovingly hands us the meal he has made for us from all eternity, after our having refused him and it for so long, the only response possible is deep gratitude and the answer, yes.