Daily Reflection Feast of Saint John, Apostle and evangelist

It’s been almost two weeks since the conclusion of my retreat at Loyola Jesuit Center, and nothing quite disturbs that post-retreat high like getting sick. This week, I suffered from physical sickness, bummed that I canceled plans, called out of work, and possessed little energy to partake in my normal hobbies.

As the holiday gatherings conclude, I’m sure many of us will face sudden sicknesses ourselves or the illness of a family member, and it can be very difficult to not let these ailments tamper with the joy of this season. This Advent, we reminded ourselves Jesus came to bring us salvation, and post-Christmas, we celebrate the love Jesus has for us. But having brain fog, sneezing too often to read the Bible clearly, and coughing each time we speak, we might struggle to remember this joy!

Reclining so often in bed this week, I often felt alone. I struggled to remember my family and friends were thinking of me and praying for me. I struggled to remember God was there, loving me. While reading the Gospel today, I imagined the Apostles must have felt alone, too, after Jesus publicly died. Maybe they thought they deserved it, as all the Apostles except for John abandoned Jesus in His arrest and death.

But they were not alone. Jesus died because He wanted a relationship with them, with us. I’m sure the stretch between Good Friday and Resurrection Sunday felt so dark for the Apostles, but Jesus came again, as He said He would.

Our lives can feel so dark while we’re sick, too, but God promises us the light again, whether it’s part of this life or the next. As I recover from this illness, I’m reminded that Jesus’s death did not erase suffering for us, but it did promise us eternal peace with God in the next life.